The Lost Earring
by July 1st
Summary: Wakka and Rikku have lost Yuna's prized earring, and the gang has to go on a search for it. Prepare to laugh, cry, and be scared, or something like that.
1. That's the Trouble With Gambling

The Lost Earring

Chapter 1: That's the Trouble With Gambling

By July 1st

**A/N**: Yes, this is a parody. That means everyone will be extremely out-of-character and impossible things will happen. But isn't that fun? Flame me if you want. It's interesting. XD

Yuna gave a nostalgic look to the shores of Besaid Island. Large, beautiful waves crashed ashore as little children giggled and played, their parents looking on adoringly. An abandoned boat was lodged in the sand, becoming a toy for the children as they crawled over it, chasing each other. She sighed at the seemingly perfect scene, and got ready for yet another day of sulking and eating onion rings obsessively.

She searched through her jewelry box, engraved with a picture of Sin. Remarkably, people had been making millions of gil selling memorabilia of Sin. "One would think that they'd be sick of Sin, seeing how it destroyed their family and all," Yuna pondered. She put in her earrings as she found them, but she searched through the whole box and couldn't find a trace of her large earring.

Just then, Rikku waltzed into the room. "Well, hi there Yunie! What'chu doing here?"

"Uhm... it's my room, Rikku."

"Oh, oh, yeah, of course, my bad. What'cha looking for?" She plopped down on Yuna's bed.

"I can't find my large earring anywhere. I've searched my whole jewelry box, even!" Yuna remarked, glancing at Rikku as she grabbed an onion ring to snack on. "You haven't seen it, have you?"

Rikku stopped fidgeting as soon as Yuna addressed her. Tears filled her eyes. "I... I lost it! Yunie, I'm so sorry," Rikku babbled, latching onto Yuna's arm. "I... er... borrowed it temporarily. I was wearing it when Wakka and I were dancing the Ikai Okuri to the Chocobo music, darn it that's catchy, and, and... I don't remember what happened after that! I lost it! Oh, I just know you're going to kill me..." Rikku let go of Yuna and started wringing her hands in her lap.

Yuna stared at Rikku for a minute, trying to take in the story. Yuna and Rikku jumped as something hit the door. There was something that sounded like grunting and pushing, as a shrill scream filled the air: "YOU IDIOT, WAKKA. YOU MISSED YOUR CUE." Lulu's voice, in a tone Yuna had never heard and never wanted to again, pierced the silence. Yuna could swear it was echoing as Wakka burst into the room, apparently shoved by Lulu from behind. "Wha? Oh, ya! Sorry, man! I was busy getting my hair done! But, by golly, isn't it beautiful?" He stroked his hair as Rikku nodded slowly. After a few moments Wakka snapped out of his trance and looked around. "Ooops. Sorry." He walked back out the door and shut it. Yuna blinked as he rushed into the room once more. "We're SO SORRY YUNA!"

Yuna stared at them both as Wakka continued to babble. "You see, we uhh... Well, we we drank too many potions. Don't you think they taste like rum? Well, really, they do. We put them in some egg nog we had randomly lying around and, well, we got so drunk that we don't remember what happened, but I think we must've sold that earring to someone! Look, I have the gil right here in my pocket!" Wakka thrust his hand into his pocket and pulled out 20 gil, handing it to Yuna.

Yuna took it slowly and then burst into a fit of sobs. "I loved that earring! It accented my outfit so perfectly!" Her perfect poise was lost as her nose dribbled and tears littered her face. "I, I'm sorry." She pulled herself together as best she could, and continued. "We have to get it back! Where should we look first?" She demanded of them.

As if on cue, Kimahri and Lulu walked into the room. "Well, like, you see, we should, like, go to, like, the bar in, like, Luca first, like, because there's, like, totally a lot of, like... people there! Uh!" Lulu said in a perfect valley girl impression. Everyone stared at her in a confused daze.

"What? Kimahri and I were playing truth or dare last night and he dared me to talk like a valley girl today. Uh!" Hearing this, Kimahri giggled like a little girl and ran out of the room.

"That was creepy," Wakka commented.

"...Anyway," Rikku said after a moment of silence, "That's a good idea!" She and the team trotted out the door.

However, Wakka stopped in front of Yuna. Glancing up at him, she asked, "What is it?"

"Don't ya think ya should finish gettin' dressed first?" He said.

Yuna, embarrassed, blushed and rushed back to her room, slamming the door behind her.


	2. The Monster Bling Bling: Auron

The Lost Earring

Chapter 2: The Monster Bling Bling - Auron.

By July 1st

**A/N**: You know, I just realized there's no gambling in the last chapter. That makes the chapter title kind of random. Oh well.

Yuna exited her room and walked down the hall to catch up with her companions. As they left the building, she took a moment to look at her surroundings. "Besaid Village," she whispered. "I'm leaving you again. It's so dramatic. Because it's again."

Shaking her head, Yuna addressed the group. "How should we get to Luca?"

Kimahri sneezed. "Ooops, Kimahri forget to take allergy medicine." He trotted back into the condo, purchased with Yuna's masses of gil. She did have a bit of it from training so much, and she could sell the presents people gave her on eBay.

"Seriously, though," she said. "Should we take a boat, Cid's airship, or chocobos?" The group pondered the question for a moment.

"Like, chocobos can, like, swim? I so t0tally didn't know that! Uh!" Lulu said.

Wakka nodded. "She does bring up a good point. And a zero. That's interesting."

"I guess that's out of the question, then," Yuna said. "Hmm... an airship would be pretty fast. We wouldn't have to dock in Kilika, then!"

Everyone nodded and murmered amongst themselves. "Well, actually," Wakka started, a grim look on his face. "It'd be kind of nice to see Kilika again, eh? I mean, it's been so long since we've been there..."

"Wakka, we must find my earring A.S.A.P.! That stands for "As Soon As Possible"! If you didn't know."

"PLEASE," Wakka begged. "I have to beat up the Beasts for winning that match last week!" Wakka hit his hand with his fist. "How dare they take the glory of the Besaid Aurochs?! I'll teach them a thing or two!" He shot some punches in the air, a la Zell.

"Now, now, Wakka, let's not be violent," Rikku said and patted his shoulder.

Kimahri re-joined the group, tissues in hand. "Airship it is, then..." Yuna coughed and picked up a telephone. "Let's call Cid."

After dialing the number, Yuna put the phone to her ear. "Hi Uncle!" she said in a cheery voice. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Uh huh, I'm getting better about not eating onion rings as much. Listen, I was wondering, could you pick us up on your airship and take us to Luca? WHAT?! YOU BROKE IT!" Yuna exclaimed, and then sighed and hung up the phone. "Well, I guess we'll.." she was interrupted as the phone rang and she picked it up. "Hello? Uncle Cid? Oh, oops. Sorry I didn't say goodbye. Cough. Not really. Cough. Well, goodbye." Yuna hung up the phone.

"Everybody," Yuna addressed the group, "Uncle Cid broke the airship. We'll have to find another way to get to Luca! Let's split up and search for clues. I mean, a way to get to Luca."

They all nodded and rushed off in different directions. Yuna grabbed her taming staff from a large pile of weapons she never used and probably never would, and took off in a direction no one had gone.

Walking up the path that lead out of the village, Yuna thought for a way to get to Luca. Suddenly, a huge, enormous, gigantic, massive, colossal, ferocious, scary, chilling, frightening, horrifying, terrifying, creepy, eerie, fierce, violent, wild, unruly, alarming, startling, and fear-provoking monster snuck up on Yuna. "AHHHHH!" Yuna screamed and whacked the many-adjectived monster with her staff. The Floating Eye's eyes turned into little swirlies and it fell to the ground, defeated. (Which makes one wonder, was it really all as bad as I said it was? The world may never know. But I digress.)

"Phew, it's just unconscious. Strange, I don't usually see them around here. They must be on their migration route or something. Not like I would know anything about that." Yuna stared at the Floating Eye. "Aww, it's so cute. I'll name it Beantree!" She patted it on the head and picked it up, slinging it over her shoulder, to head back to the condo.

Giving it some Elixirs when she got in, Yuna sat petting Beantree and waiting for the others to arrive. Beantree purred until... what? He sensed something! Beantree flew out the door with Yuna following, and ran into... Auron?

"Hey, Yunie!" Rikku called. "Look what I caught." She tugged at the leash she had put around Auron's neck. Auron whimpered.

"Well," she explained, "I was just wandering around the forest, looking for a way to get to Luca, when Auron came and attacked me! How rude of him! I figured since he was dead and all, that he could float, or fly, or something," she said, scratching her head. Auron growled and lunged at Beantree, but was pulled back by Rikku's leash. "Bad boy! I'm going to have to teach you to behave."

"Rikku! I have an idea! While we're waiting for everyone else to arrive, let's play dress up!" Yuna grinned wickedly.

"Yunie, aren't we a little old for those kind of games?" Rikku winked cheesily at the end of her sentence.

"Not US, Rikku. Auron." Her sly grin remained, but her eyes shifted to Auron. He whimpered once again. Beantree chased a dog around. Rikku's expression turned to match Yuna's and she stared at Auron too, clapping her hands together. "We're gonna have a lot of fun with youuuuuu."

Auron whimpered once more.

_Two hours later..._

Auron cried as Yuna and Rikku pulled him out of their condo, not wanting to be seen in public. Frankly, I don't think anyone would blame him, either. He was dressed as a "gansta". Yes, the baggy clothes, big shoes, and random gold chains clothed Auron, and it was a sad sight, a sad sight indeed.

"Whee!" Rikku cheered. "That was fun." Yuna agreed. Auron's clothes were soon forgotten by him as he chased Beantree. They both stopped when... what? They sensed something! They both ran and tackled Wakka, who had just trudged back.

"Look what I got, ya?" Wakka said after he avoided the two monsters chasing him. "It's a... uhh..." He looked at something inscribed on his hand. "Thrusteavis. I had to go all the way to another Final Fantasy to get it." He smirked and gloated about his prize to anyone who would listen.

"Wow, it's two-dimensional! And it's pixels are all.. large," Rikku said as she inspected it. "Can it hold your weight?" She poked Wakka in the stomach.

Wakka thought for a moment. "Well, it does have four wings. I guess it can," he replied.

Suddenly, everyone heard a loud crash and turned around to face the the person - or thing - responsible. "Like, hey, guys!" Lulu cried. "Look what I got!" She smashed houses and squished people as she made her way to the group. "I, like, totally found Ultima Weapon! \l0lz!!!!!1one!!112."

Yuna giggled. Oh, that silly Lulu. "Well, as long as you don't squish anything. Especially not Beantree. How I love Beantree," she said.

"I'll, like, try," Lulu responded.

After some more time of waiting, Kimahri finally sulked up to the group, dragging an animal behind him.

"What's wrong, Kimahri?" Yuna said in an 'I know you have a problem so I'm going to try and fix it like a typical Final Fantasy heroine' voice.

"All Kimahri find is Dingo. Dingo no hold Kimahri weight. Kimahri ashamed," he weeped.

"It's okay, Kimahri! Kimahri can ride with Lulu, right, Lulu?" Yuna asked.

"YayyyyY!" Kimahri squealed and jumped on Ultima Weapon's back before Lulu had a chance to respond.

"Let's go to Luca, ya," Wakka said as he jumped on his two-dimensional monster. Auron picked Rikku up and jumped on the back of Ultima Weapon with Lulu and Kimahri.

"You cheater!" Rikku cried, and whacked him in the head.

"Ouchies," Auron said.


End file.
